I seem to have an inexplicable desire for pain.
More than curiosity. More than fascination. A strange craving, almost.
The way you’d try your hand at a spicier cuisine or experiment with a new hobby, to test your limits.
Perhaps, it’s my ardent interest in Psychology (one of my majors).
Maybe it stems from my belief that I am truly alive when I experience the A-Z of emotions in palpable intensities.
Or is the source subconscious guilt which makes painย feel right, even relieving?
I play with pain, the way a child blows air into balloons until the loud pop!
I am my own rubber band. I fiddle, pull and observe to see how far I can stretch, until the snap.
The breaking point is yet to be found.
Maybe, the reward is in that after feeling gutted, tortured, confused, I can surface up and claim, “That wasn’t so bad.”
We treat certain parts of ourselves as inner graveyards, with unimaginable ghosts.
Meant for paying an occasional, wary visit.
It is freeing to know that the darkness in me is tame in comparison to the illusory demons I suspect I will discover.
Maybe it’s time to invite the monsters under the bed to lay next to us and start a conversation.
You never know. You might just sleep better at night.
Copyright ยฉ Roshni Ramanan
“You never know. You might just sleep better at night.” The best ending this could ever get!
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Awww, thank you! It means a lot to me that you took time to read my blog ๐
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Interesting to read Roshini… Your thoughts are unique…
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Hey there. Glad you found them interesting. Thanks a bunch!
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The emotions could be felt.
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Thank you so much. That’s very gratifying to hear.
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My pleasure
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an inexplicable desire for pain
You talking to me? You are, aren’t you?
I think we’re masochistic (and I really loved this).
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Hahaa I needed a comment that said “I feel you.” Mission accomplished! Thanks for that.
I might be a closet masochist. Only time will tell ๐
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We are. Trust me. I know one when I see one.
Welcome.
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*wink wink*
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Great writing! Keep them coming!
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Thank you! I hope to. Have a great day.
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Well said
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Thank you for writing here.
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I do not know the origin of these thoughts in your context, but indeed they are strong. Not just in portrayal but every word came alive in intensity and meaning. I sincerely hope the monsters are dealt with and the tugging and pulling is put to rest. Nonetheless, kudos to you for being strong and sensitive enough to balance your feelings yet be able to share a significant part.
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There’s no specific trigger but I’d rather feel negative or positive emotions than feeling indifferent. I’ve eased up on the tugging and pulling. I appreciate you asking.
Thank you so very much for those kind compliments. Happy blogging!
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Wish you all the smiles and creative miles ๐ .
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Thanks for that incredible wish. Good luck โบ๏ธ๐ฏ
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Great metaphorical narration about Pain . Good one ๐
Keep going Roshni !โ
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Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Happy blogging ๐
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Like this post. For me, I’m learning that sometimes , once I meat that monster, I can just be sure it’s comfortable where it is. I don’t need to invited it into my bed, but show some compassion, toss it a pillow, show it where the door/window/ bathroom is.
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I loved what you said and I’m glad you’re going through that process now. Good luck and thank you for sharing!
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Well, that was quite interesting. Well written, and interesting!
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Hello. Thank you very much. Have a fabulous day!
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Hello! Thank you! You too!
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