Life lessons, Myriad Musings

Qualm before the calm

Have you ever felt a teensy bit uneasy before a novel venture ? How to know if this apprehension will soon vanish, as the taste of success replaces shivers down the spine, or if this fear is a big red signal, your instinct cautioning you to back out before it is too late?

Its entirely natural to be nervous about the outcome as the future is never a guarantee. It is equally human to doubt whether we will be capable of investing enough to see it through, if the returns will justify our efforts and if the whole venture is worthwhile after all. If this is something that would bring you happiness with a clean conscience; if you would take it up readily assuming money and reputation were no object, then by all means go ahead with it. Embark on your next adventure with surety.

It is a different scenario if the cause of uneasiness is a queasy conscience. Don’t compromise on your moral rectitude and this means keeping away from anything where you benefit only by harming others or temporarily benefit but hurt yourself in the long run. These are huge warning ‘STOP’ signs and there’s a reason they shout out in block letters. By no means, settle for a project, a relationship, an idea that compromises your value system and plays with your self- worth.

Identifying the difference between both can be a life changer as it would keep the energy vampires at bay, leaving you with sufficient time to chase your dreams. When you are on the edge next time, unsure as hell, whether to cross a line or not, there’s a simple way of figuring out if its an experiment or a nightmare :
Ask yourself Does this limit me or liberate me?”

WordPress Daily prompt : Qualm

Standard
Life lessons, Myriad Musings, Poetry

The last of life

The tick-tock of the zealous clock,

dictates all the strife in your life.

There’s the bedside tea, the chauffeur ride,

Yet, all you do is complain and chide.

Only in others’ pain, do you see any gain.

What’s marriage but a blemish, a stain ?

So you treat your family with utter disdain

though they prove their worth, time and again.

Remember the employees who trusted you to lead ?

They are dispensable now : paid no heed.

How could you forget the days of old,

when kindness was seen as pots of gold !

At home, a united nest, fed your zest,

at work, your superior’s praise, felt like a raise.

Your priorities made sense :

to become better and to belong.

Until the perfect picture came along

and you forgot the lyrics of the one-time song.

Won’t things change, if you were let in on this :

Today’s the last day you breathe air,

Your Final chance to be true and fair.

Would you then continue, with the hatred you spew ?

You’ll realise your follies when the

car meets a truck and the road seems askew,

Now, if only you knew, if only you knew !

Standard
Life lessons, Myriad Musings

Buried Alive

When I painted the pastoral picture outside my window in pastel shades, I was told to draw diagrams of anatomy and physiology.

When I declared myself with the tunes of country Blues, I was asked to listen for the rhythm of the pulse.

When I strummed the guitar with deft fingers, I was forced to use the dexterity in my hands for careful incision.

So I resorted to the pen that screams stories of “could’ve been” and desires drowned before they were even voiced out, like a lizard’s tail chopped off again before it could grow an inch. As you can guess, that was taken away from me along with the rest.

So I dipped my inky hands into the pool of blood and became a medical practitioner. Yet, I could never understand the logic. If I’m expected to be successful in something I hardly care about, won’t my delightful leisure pursuits make for better professions ?

As I put on my stethoscope, I never cease to wonder how many such painters, musicians and writers were silenced and ladders taken away from these artists as they were climbing half way, leaving them hanging in mid air.

That’s exactly why every time I take my steth to someone’s chest, I tell them to listen keenly to what their hearts beat for.

WordPress Daily Prompt : Pursue

Standard
Life lessons, Poetry

Picking her lock

She was a relentless gale

storming through life !

She locked the door on humanity

And threw the keys afar.

Dare crawl close ? You pay

with ridicule and rancour –

For your courage and compassion.

Yet, here he was, looking for a friend

And would take no answer but “Yes.”

He carved around her brick walls

to pave a passage to her heart.

Her tantrums were met with smiles,

her whimsical silences with understanding.

With an open ear and eyes that saw far,

He healed her expertly , scar by scar.

Lining up the gap between

the key pins and driver pins,

he patiently picked her lock.

She wondered, how he knew

what she needed, all along.

Conspiratorially, he whispered

a truth that left her Exposed:

Those unable to call out for love,

Are the ones that need it the most !

Standard
Life lessons, Myriad Musings

Juxtapositions

The world is often painted black and white. People are defined with rigid characteristics. Giving, egocentric, wise and so on. The individual readily accepts these labels, choosing to stay crippled by strokes the society has painted of him. An alternate scenario is a lifelong battle against these tags. Human potential is rendered futile either way.

Contradictions are an inherent part of life. We wallow in sweet agony, are clearly confused regarding our life purposes and it is the same difference after all. When life is rife with oxymorons like these, how hard is it for a human to accept that every man is a bundle of contradictions? The staunchly anti-racist woman nurtures a secret desire to be slightly fairer. The teacher who is a firm advocate of peace picks up daily fights with his neighbours.  Moreover, we could feel drawn to and repelled by the same thing. Cognitive dissonance and hypocrisy are too narrow to explain this phenomenon of copious emotions and thoughts of varied nature, despite stemming from the same origins.

The torment of the last embers of dying hope hit the deepest pits of my stomach, from the same pits of which the flame of a daring will is fanned. I, the pacifier who cringes at the idea of conflict, would unhesitatingly fight an army to safe keep my armour of values. We all have experienced a wide range of emotions, jubilation and euphoria, doubt and despair, fear and desire, all at once or at close intervals with varying intensity.

Stable lines would be no fun without the disjointed curves and the broken dots. The toil in sun and rain and the crops ruined by the trespassing cow, make the final harvest all the more relishable. Good times, optimistic thoughts, altruism and a productive channelisation of energy would be taken for granted if not for the numerous evidence for and consequences of the opposite.

Days that put a crease on the forehead shouldn’t be dreaded as they allow us to better appreciate the smiles and the sunny days. Let’s refuse to be tied down by strict tags that limit us. Recognising and embracing fragments of our infinite qualities paves the way to proud self-definition, by feeding those attributes which serve us. Once we bridge the gap between what we are and what we want to be, we can live with our heads held high unapologetically. We could be cold or kind, petty or generous or both! We’re human beings after all. If it’s all a matter of choice, who would you rather be?

 

Standard
Life lessons

Blindfolded

      My vision concealed by the vindictive blindfolds and my fingers twined with those of a stranger, I walked amidst a path covered with thorn bushes, engulfed by an overwhelming plethora of emotions. Dread and doubt filled my heart, with a twinge of excitement adding to the adrenaline. The task was to learn ‘trust’ as a part of my course ‘Connect With Respect’ by entrusting your safety in the hands of a best friend whom you would see the world through as blindfolds warped your sight.

      When the pairings were made, my fate was left to the mercy of a person I hadn’t met before. Had it not been for my dazed muscle memory, my frozen heart would have physically immobilised me. How was I, who moved with apprehension and caution at every stage of life and took my time to reveal the real ‘me’ even to those closest, to let my guard down instantaneously in an unchartered territory? It was unfathomable, as the horrifying possibility of allowing myself to get hurt lurked threateningly, perhaps in the thorn bushes, as we toured amidst rich greenery. As fear and suspicion clouded my mind and added to the burden of my troubled soul, I felt that my only choice and the inevitable solution was to let go. The transition was not undertaken through the cliched conscious deep breaths or other such mental relaxation techniques. I just let go ! Relief flooded through me easing up every tensed up muscle tendon. It was as though invisible chains that had heartlessly stifled me had broken loose, once and for all.

       This moment defined my first experience with true liberty : A stunning realisation that I had been imprisoned, not by the brutalities of the harsh world or the disturbing realities and life experiences, but by self-imposed barriers. Beautiful was the world where you could revisit childhood along with its carefree abandon and masks were no longer needed as a protective armour, as the battle I waged was only with myself. I walked away from the experience unscathed physically under expert guidance and my then wiser self reflected on the irony of my walls crumbling down at the hands of a complete stranger.

Standard