Questions to ask yourself right now

Here are some urgent questions for the self that could prove to be life changing:

1. What are my White (inflexible to-die-for), Black (couldn’t-care-less) and Grey (totally context dependent) morals or principles? This is an amazing compass to navigate life with and choose your social circle.

2. Would this event even matter to me in five weeks, five days and five years? This helps you survive when you’re dealt a bad hand and keeps you humble when you’re on top of your game.

3. Who/ what triggers the worst side of me? This helps you address your insecurities and declutter any toxicity.

4. Have I truly done everything in my power to make this (insert goal) work? What if this was a matter of life/ death? This removes your excuses aka your biggest obstacle.

5. If I lose my wealth and social standing tomorrow due to a false rumour, who will stand by my side? This helps you treasure your core support group.

6. If I could improve only one impactful aspect of my life, which one would it be? This helps you solely focus on the weakest link.

7. What is one area through which I can change the world in a small, significant way? This helps you zero in on your larger purpose, the source of your social contribution.

8. If I’d one week/ one day/ one hour left, what would I do that I haven’t done yet? This is a game changer as it can lead you to bridge broken relationships, dive into novel experiences and check off your bucket list.

9. If I’ve one message for the world, what would it be? You can uncover the belief that is closest to your heart.

10. What would I name my memoir? This reveals how you perceive your journey, in sum, or how you want the world to perceive your life.

11. What are some commonly agreed upon rules that I just can’t wrap my head around? You can identify the disparity between your real self and social self, and reduce conformity, in case you’re succumbing to social expectations that don’t work for you.

12. Does this limit me or liberate me? This is extremely useful when applied to people, circumstances and choices.

13. Do I look forward to waking up every morning? If you’re dreading every day, it might be time for a complete makeover.

14. What are the three thoughts/ attributes/ life incidents that I’d never want the world to know about me? This helps you explore your unconscious fears and conflicts, embrace your dark side and resolve feelings of shame and guilt.

15. If you’d unlimited resources, funds and energy, what would you do? There, you just discovered your true calling.

Good luck, everyone 🙂

Copyright © Roshni Ramanan

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Blogging tips I didn’t follow (1k follows)

Hello, readers. I never thought I’d do a post that has 1k follows in its title. Not only because that is a milestone that wasn’t even on my radar when I started, but also because I think it’s tacky. But, here we are.

I want to take this opportunity to give a shoutout to all my followers, my dearest readers and the generous souls who leave comments that make my day. Thanks a million for the smiles.

I also realised that, being a private person, my followers don’t know me on a personal level, even after a hundred posts. So, through this post, I’m going to touch upon my blogging journey.

Why blog?

1. I used to crucify my writing (to the point where I’ve thrown many notebooks in the trash once I filled them up) and I wanted to commit to putting it out there

2. I wanted to become a versatile writer, in terms of exploring myriad themes, styles, literary devices and genres. I thought actively engaging with other phenomenal bloggers would be a great step in this direction

3. I ardently desired to make people think and feel

Blogging tips I didn’t follow:

I mention these, not to discredit these tips, but merely to encourage you to do things your own way. There are no ‘rules’ you should feel pressured to follow, that is not in alignment with your personality and your blogging aims.

1. Find a niche

Since my focus is on expanding my comfort zone, I didn’t want to restrict myself. I’ve had the kindest readers who’ve been receptive to poems, terribly tiny tales, listicles, short prose etc.

2. Social media is the key

Since I’m a millennial who is social media free, I’ve never had those platforms for blog promotion and I didn’t deem it necessary to create them. This may change in the future.

3. Exchange is essential

There are many readers who follow me without ‘liking‘ a single post ( it confuses me till date). Perhaps, they expect a follow-for-follow. I read most of the posts in my followed sites feed and hence don’t partake in this shallow exchange.

4. Post daily 

I certainly posted daily in the age of Daily Prompts. But, it’s wise to let your post breathe for a while so that more people across the world get an opportunity to see it. With more likes, you’ve a better chance at appearing on the reader’s feed and gaining visibility.

5. Stats is your guiding light

For the longest time, I hadn’t even noticed the stats section. I’m still tech handicapped that way. Irrespective, I’ll never tailor my posts solely based on likes. I blog for my satisfaction and let my authentic self through. Even if all the numbers vanished tomorrow, say due to a technical default, I’ll still keep writing as I’ve been since I was four (mostly about cats on mats that play with bats).

I do understand the positive side of these tips (so kindly refrain from pointing them out in the comments). My only goal here is to assert that there is no definitive rulebook for success in this platform. Instead of stressing over Dos and donts, I want to empower you to do things that best serve your interests.

My warmest thanks, again, to everyone who’s been a part of my journey.

The WordPress community has filled my heart with its generous and unflinching support. It’s truly gratifying to hear your delightful, intellectually stimulating and encouraging views. I salute every blogger here and every artist in the world.

You don’t need to be an artist to breathe life into art. We can keep all the art around us alive by merely being aware of it. Thank you!

Copyright © Roshni Ramanan

 

 

Life lessons #4

These are entries from my journal that I endeavour to consciously follow/ practice and I share them in the hope that they resonate with you. 

61. Respect and listen to every opinion. Absorb that which makes sense to you.

62. Don’t try to rank, rate and measure everything. Life is more than numbers.

63. Don’t underpromise and over deliver or vice versa. Keep what you say you’ll do and what you do consistent.

64. Think things through and stick to your decisions.

65. Do you feel upset? Dead inside? The world couldn’t care less.

66. There are experiences, behaviours and people that will liberate you and those that will limit you. Choose to be free.

67. Plans work better if you prepare for potential obstacles in advance.

68. If you don’t believe in magic, you won’t find it.

69. There is joy in creating something.

70. If you acquire the learner’s mindset, you have a thrilling journey ahead.

71. Understanding your strengths, in no way, makes you arrogant.

72. It is fun to sass your friends. It is important to lift them up.

73. Looking beautiful may count. But, feeling beautiful makes all the difference.

74. Nothing is as sexy as an unapologetic personality, a good posture and a heartfelt smile.

75. Drown out all the noise, once a day, including the noise in your own head.

76. Just like you won’t deny a diabetic his insulin, don’t deny anyone mental health support.

77. Be self- aware of how you think, feel, speak, behave, learn and cope. Ultimately, ‘forever’ is with yourself.

78. You are more than one end of a binary. You are more than a dichotomy. You are multitudes wrapped in the blanket of one body.

79. Be your absolute favourite person in the world. Deserve the title.

80. Believe that you deserve the world. Now, work for it.

Feel free to add to the list …

Copyright © Roshni Ramanan

Life lessons #3

These are entries from my journal that I endeavour to consciously follow/ practice and I share them in the hope that they resonate with you. 

41. If you never ask or never attempt, the ‘what if’ will haunt you forever.

42. Pretending to be what you’re not, gets exhausting too fast.

43. So, create a reality you don’t need an escape from.

44. Don’t complain about the ill effects of social media on social media. Deactivate your account.

45. You can build a life that is full of excuses or full of attempts.

46. Feeling curious, happy and thrilled is cool. Feeling sad, anxious and terrified is cool. Feel your feelings.

47. Sometimes, fine is as good as it gets. Be fine with it.

48. Cherish experiences.

49. Acquire skills.

50. Nothing lasting comes from causing another person pain.

51. Speak to your own self like you want to be spoken to by others.

52. Inspiration lies everywhere. Take note of it.

53. Failure teaches you so much more than success ever will.

54. Stand up for your beliefs.

55. Exemplify your values, so others acquire it from you. That is how you seed change.

56. Learn to say ‘So what?’

57. No one has all the answers. There is no one answer to the intangible.

58. ‘Should’ is aristocratic. Remove it from your dictionary.

59. Silence is the most fervent supporter of injustice.

60. Karma is a cognitive error called the Just World phenomenon.

Feel free to add to the list …

Copyright © Roshni Ramanan

Life lessons #2

These are entries from my journal that I endeavour to consciously follow/ practice and I share them in the hope that they resonate with you. 

21. If you claim to be an adult, it is key to behave like one.

22. Celebrate your little victories. Small wins = Big difference.

23. However, remember to be modest. Most of what you’ve achieved has been accomplished before and could be accomplished again.

24. Stop believing in yourself and you’ve found the most certain way of losing the game.

25. Do not give unasked for criticism or advice.

26. It is okay, and at times necessary, to be the person that goes the extra mile.

27. There is some truth in the Positivity Bias and the Law of Attraction.

28. Settling is the worst way to fail because you are failing your own self.

29. Happiness is not achieving an arbitrary X or Y. Happy is right now.

30. Don’t waste time on unproductive mental gymnastics.

31. If you have time to hate someone, you have too much time.

32. No one deserves ten chances.

33. Don’t play mind games that reinforce stereotypes.

34. If you tell me, you can help me understand better.

35. Never trivialise anyone’s pain.

36. We all exist in the same world but live in different worlds.

37. If waking up seems painful, it is time to take a good hard look at your life.

38. Life is not a faraway fairy tale. Your story is today and right now. Write it well.

39. Don’t say goodbye on a sour note. It could be the last goodbye.

40. When something doesn’t feel right, there is a reason.

Feel free to add to the list …

Copyright © Roshni Ramanan

Life lessons #1

These are entries from my journal that I endeavour to consciously follow/ practice and I share them in the hope that they resonate with you. Here’s my first listicle on WP :

1. Life owes you zilch. You owe yourself everything.

2. Remember your roots. They speak volumes about why you are the way you are.

3. Run away from toxicity. Avoid it like the plague.

4. A therapist and a hundred self-help books, podcasts and films can’t change your life. You can.

5. The only way to find out if a technique, a habit or a piece of advice works, is to implement it.

6. Be you in every situation.

7. If being you doesn’t sound appealing, become a better you.

8. If you keep fighting losing battles, you won’t have any resources left for the ones you can actually win.

9. It is okay to have bad days, bad weeks and even bad months. What is not okay is denying that’s how you feel.

10. Emotional blackmail gets you nowhere.

11. For every reason there is to lie, there is a better reason, to tell the truth.

12. To identify the truly trivial, ask yourself if a bad experience is going to matter in a week, in a month and in a year.

13. Everyone’s path is different and equally important.

14. But, it helps to remember that you have it better than so many others.

15. Equality is a conscious choice. Practise it every day. Don’t be ageist, racist, sexist, homophobic etc. Inegalitarianism looks good, said no one ever.

16. Care enough to extend a helping hand.

17. It’s so easy to break someone. Try keeping them whole.

18. Being ‘manly’ is more about manning up to your flaws and being a man of your word, than any cultural stereotype.

19. If working at what you love is draining, reconsider it.

20. If you keep making excuses to postpone what you say you want, maybe you don’t want it all that bad.

Feel free to add to the list …

Copyright © Roshni Ramanan